Sink Hole Moments and Hot Fudge Sundae


As a health coach I have many tools in my arsenal that I use to pick me up when my usual cheery outlook is dimmer than I like it to be.  Some of those tools are meditation, yoga, exercise, upbeat music, walks in nature, reading books that make me think and yes, sometimes even enjoying a fabulous hot fudge sundae! They are quite effective (especially the hot fudge sundae!).

And 90% of the time, I’m well armed to protect myself from the negativity that comes at me from all directions every day.

On rare occasions however, I fall into an emotional sinkhole that’s just too big and deep for me to get out of by myself.  And the kicker is these sinkholes take me by surprise!  Here I am going along my merry way and a single thought or conversation with someone opens up this chasm right in front of me and down I go!

For many years when that happened I would go into what a dear friend of mine would call my ‘turtle mode’ - pulling into a protective shell away from everyone and everything and not coming out again, sometimes for days at a time.  Being an introvert by nature, I guess that made perfect sense.  My friend was pretty intuitive and read me well.  She would tell me I could stay there for a short while but she wouldn’t let me stay for too long.  Well my friend moved across the country years ago and I fell back into my ‘turtle mode’ ways again.

While in my protective shell I feverishly put my positivity tools to work.  Granted they often did the trick but sometimes I needed something or someone more.  I needed a hand to reach in and help me out – a coach for a coach. 

If you’re lucky you’ll have a friend that will reach in at just the right time and give you the strength and encouragement you need to get out of that hole.  But sometimes you need to take the initiative and ask for help.  The more extroverted folks usually don’t have a problem with that but for the more introverted types – it takes courage to reach out to a friend and ask for help.  It’s out of our comfort zone. 

We are the listeners, the quiet processors, the givers of encouragement, love, and strength.  What we need to recognize is how vital it is for us to add friendship to our positivity arsenal.  Tools are just things, systems or processes we can use to accomplish a certain goal.  They can be wonderfully helpful, but no tool can replace the patient ears, caring heart, warm hugs, encouragement, and love from a friend.

It is ok to ask for help! And besides a hot fudge sundae tastes waaaay better when you’re sharing it with a friend!

Erika DeJesus